Meltdown

That photo sums up my evening pretty well.  BEFORE the magnet melted, it hung on my range, to remind me "GREASE FIRE:  Turn Off Heat.  Cover Utensil With Lid."  Just so you know, the reminder magnet does no good if it's on fire.

I have been miserable with allergies & asthma for the last few days.  I came home to a messy house, full of things too heavy for me to move alone (28 weeks pregnant tomorrow!).  There was so much clutter that I couldn't sit down on either couch.

So I started to clean.

There I was stomping around, huffing and puffing, being a martyr about the housework, If I have to go to work, why do I have to clean the house all by myself?  How will I be able to take care of another child on top of all of this without help?

My husband arrived home, sick, and promptly went up to lie down.  I felt my martyrdom creeping back up.  My feet are swollen, my back hurts, and I can't breath.  I just spent my evening cleaning and now I'm cooking.   -- but I bit my tongue and he trudged up the stairs.

My son and I had a lot of fun cooking - chopping artichokes, squeezing the mayonnaise bottle, and sneaking pinches of Parmesan cheese from the artichoke chicken topping!  I added a tablespoon of oil to stainless steel skillet and put it on the stove to heat up for "1-3 minutes" (per the directions in the recipe).  We continued "tenderizing" the chicken, and having a little too much fun.

My amazingly gifted seven-year-old photographer snapped this one while we cooked.

The next thing I knew my son was yelling, "MOM! SMOKE!"  I ran to the stove to move the skillet to a cool burner and it burst into flames.  I screamed for my husband.. and screamed again... and again.  In the meantime the smoke detector went off and my son ran upstairs to get my husband.

There it was again.  Martyrdom.  Why didn't he come down sooner?  Why wasn't he there to help me?  I didn't say anything -- we worked together to open windows and get the smoke out, then my husband went back up to lie down.

At least I'm improving...  I kept my thoughts to myself and avoided an pointless argument with my husband.  But, inside, it felt like a meltdown.  I felt so stressed and helpless.  Negative thoughts build in my mind until it overwhelms me.  But, the only person I was thinking about was me.

James 4:6-7 says "But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."  

God favors the humble.  

• I am too proud.  I need to remember that I am human; a human who makes mistakes.
  
• My son just wanted to play.  I need to remember I'm raising a human; a human who makes mistakes.
  
• My husband just needed to rest.  I need to remember that I married a human; a human who makes mistakes.    

I love and care for both my husband and son, but did a horrible job of showing it today.  I'm going to be doing my best to think about their feelings and motives before I get upset (to avoid another meltdown).

How do you deal with the feeling of being helpless when homemaking becomes overwhelming?  What has been your best idea to keep from becoming overwhelmed?